day 52: best friends, worst enemies, and everything in between

There's a person in my life I'm never quite finished with. I don't know any other way to put it simply. I think we all have that person in our life. We've loved them, hated them, moved on, never let go... The one thing that remains consistent is that no matter where you left off you will always miss them when you think of them and when you see them again after so long apart, you will quietly let go of whatever grudge you had fully intended to hold. The universe, for whatever reason, has connected that person to you in a way that may never be defined and will never truly dissipate. You may be friends, lovers, partners, combatants, distant acquaintances, infatuations, true friends or sworn enemies, but more likely, you will be all of these things at different times.

   What I think I'm starting to understand is that no label will ever fill the space you leave between the two of you, no matter how large or small. You were never meant to understand your role with this person. It was always meant to be ambiguous. And if it some day takes a shape you know how to express, don't lose heart when it changes yet again. A creek doesn't complain when a fallen tree diverts it's path, it simply flows along the tree until it can continue it's course. The only thing it controls is that it is constantly moving forward.

   I want to be more like the creek. Accepting the power of nature, but not powerless. We always have the power to keep going. This new path is unknown and sometimes uncomfortable but more and more I'm finding courage in myself. That I don't always need to know what's next. That not everything I need and want can be chosen. Not everything I need/want can be chosen…  Hm.

Short blog, but some food for thought. And I'm always hungry.