What I think I'm starting to understand is that no label will ever fill the space you leave between the two of you, no matter how large or small. You were never meant to understand your role with this person. It was always meant to be ambiguous. And if it some day takes a shape you know how to express, don't lose heart when it changes yet again. A creek doesn't complain when a fallen tree diverts it's path, it simply flows along the tree until it can continue it's course. The only thing it controls is that it is constantly moving forward.
I want to be more like the creek. Accepting the power of nature, but not powerless. We always have the power to keep going. This new path is unknown and sometimes uncomfortable but more and more I'm finding courage in myself. That I don't always need to know what's next. That not everything I need and want can be chosen. Not everything I need/want can be chosen… Hm.
Short blog, but some food for thought. And I'm always hungry.